Job half done - Dandenong Thunder 0 South Melbourne 1

First things first. Elbow, Wednesday night, tremendous. Randy Newman and the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra on Friday night, equally tremendous. Metro and their stupid revised timetable, not so tremendous. Still, thanks to Randy I was singing and humming 'Short People' for most of the game yesterday. Decent song, but there's no many other better ones why was that one stuck in my head? At least the trip to Dandenong by rail and bus was nice and efficient.

Anyway, to the day's events proper. One could, even at this early stage of what will certainly be another poor match report, start theorising about what could happen next week. But I hardly see the point just yet - Heidelberg still has two games to play before the final round, and while they will be expected to take all nine points from their remaining matches, a slip up in either of the two games before the final round will have significant consequences for everyone else.

Suffice to say that while the results didn't necessarily go our way yesterday, we at least fulfilled our part of the bargain - well, for this week at least. Despite the Thunder's loss of several players, as well as the consequent damaged morale from being docked six points - been there, done that - they still had a chance to play finals football, no matter how much the old Albanian guy munching on pumpkin seeds next to me had already given up the ghost.

And for that, I'm grateful that we started off well, even though we had to rely on desperation and luck to get us over the line. Still, it was nice to see that kind of hunger out there at all, from a team that has been in constant upheaval this season, on and off the park. For the second week in a row, post Joe Montemurro's departure, we moved the ball well and reasonably quickly, used the width available, and gasp, had Eddie barking out orders from the bench.

Eventually our pressure paid off when one of our numerous crosses found a target - this time Jesse Krncevic, whose diving header was angled perfectly into the corner of the net, out of Stuart Webster's reach - to give us a well deserved one nil lead. Thunder should have equalised however, when they somehow managed to hit the crossbar from close range, and the aforementioned old bloke told me to buy a lotto ticket. His whole life in Australia he's been probably waiting for South Dandenong to reach the Victorian top flight and maybe win a title, and I'm destined to never see my team in the true top-flight again. Somewhere in there is an ignoble futility expressed exceedingly poorly. Too many adverbs, perhaps.

The second half was more of the same - hard tackling, wasted chances and a difficult pitch to play on, wet, slippery and with several dead spots where the ball instead of bouncing would get stuck in the mud. Having made the switch to the opposite side of the ground in the second half, it was hard to tell exactly how close the Thunder got to scoring, but from the reaction of the crowd, it was pretty bloody close. Rhodri got caught in the wars again, the recipient of another bruising and probably illegal challenge that wasn't called up - but we hopefully have enough depth now, with most of our squad in reasonable fitness to cover should he not be available next week.

But not close enough, and thus we managed to get the three points and take it to a final round showdown with Northcote, which will hopefully utterly destroy our faux sister club relationship of the past two seasons. What the FFV was thinking when it placed two Greek clubs against each other in the final round I don't know. They probably don't read the papers, because if they did, they might just realise that no one gives a stuff about this league, and that there's probably more worthwhile ways out there of earning a living. Maybe they should ask the owners of the garish mansions around George Andrews Reserve how they make their living.

If I could make any sort of rational sense of this season, I would - though I get the feeling that if we lose to Northcote next week, it'll become perfectly clear, unlike the two messages I got on my phone telling me to be at the MCG today by 12:30 and to remember to grab my beers. What that's all about I do not know.

Kiss of Death, round 17, 2011

Scotch Watch
Both teams had wins last week, so the gap remains four points. Bentleigh have improved their goal difference, but time is running out. I had a quick chat with Lucky Chrisomalidis, the other side of this wager, and he told me that allegedly offered to hand over the bottle of scotch to the Kiss of Death a month ago. Was not able to ascertain the accuracy of that before the Kiss of Death handed in their previews for this week.

• South Melbourne, 3rd place, 31 points, goal difference +4
• Bentleigh Greens, 6th place, 27 points, goal difference +5

The evidence seems damning, but the lack of a red is standard in the VPL

Oakleigh Cannons vs Heidelberg United
2nd vs 4th. Well, well, well. Looks like the willies are starting to catch up with Oakleigh. After watching more than half of Oakleigh's games this year, I’m happy to say that I was right when saying they are not playing well. They were depending on long balls last weekend in their 1-0 loss to South Melbourne. You do that when you have run out of ideas. How Hatzikostas was not sent off for his elbow to Joryeff's head is beyond belief. Heidelberg had a 3-1 win over Dandenong, who have appointed Chris Taylor as their coach for the remainder of the season, after the departure of Stuart Munro who’s on his way to an A-league assistant's job. I will be at this game on Friday night and look forward to a hack match. Plenty of wild tackles, plenty of showmanship from both coaches, and plenty of goals. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Heidelberg United 2.

Hume City vs Green Gully Cavaliers
1st vs 5th. Hume the form team, take on Green Gully the yearly finals contender. Hume demolished Northcote City last week 2-4. Green Gully had a 4-2 home win against the lowly Richmond. I expect Hume to race to an early lead at Gully just like they did last week at Northcote. Hume City 3 – Green Gully 0.

Richmond vs Springvale White Eagles
10th vs 12th. Both teams are coming off losses this week. Both teams are in somewhat relegation trouble. Games like this just don’t interest me. Richmond 0 – Springvale White Eagles 2.

Dandenong Thunder vs Northcote City
8th vs 7th. Munro out, Taylor in. A welcome to the blog to Chris Taylor. You don’t know me, but you’re most likely reading this. You have a tough task ahead. Northcote being your first. Your new team lost to Heidelberg last week, and Northcote also lost. I doubt you will be able to beat Northcote, but good luck with your new job. Dandenong Thunder 1 – Northcote City 3.

St. Albans Saints vs Bentleigh Greens
11th vs 6th. A tough task for Bentleigh. A less than convincing 4-0 home win against a 10 man Knights last week is hardly a call for celebration. St. Albans had a win in the Balkan derby last week beating Springvale 0-2. St. Albans will go three in a row when they beat Bentleigh, after their midweek 6-2 win over the little punks at the VTC. Kaman Dinamo. I need this win for my scotch. St. Albans 2 – Bentleigh Greens 0.

The kind of Elbow that this blog's creator prefers to see (and hear).

Melbourne Knights vs South Melbourne
9th vs 3rd. Good to see South beat Oakleigh last week. The midfield is 80% back and we look like we are playing. Good to see the introduction of Fernando last week, but bad to see the injury to Junior who looks like he’s done that muscle just above his ass cheek, the one named after that Roman Emperor Maximus. I can announce that Edvard Krncevic is a reader of this blog. I witnessed for the first time this season Edvard going off from the bench, barking instructions, arguing with the ref, and actively supporting his team like a coach should. Velkom Edvard. The ref last week was woeful. Listen kid, you might think you look like Cristiano Ronaldo with those big cubic zirconias in your ears, but you can’t ref for shit. How the hell did you miss the elbow on Joryeff when you were right in front of it? I heard and saw it from the scoreboard end. This will be no walk in the park for South as Somers Street is always a tough gig, but I think we will have enough to beat the Knights. Melbourne Knights 0 – South Melbourne 3.

Elbow at The Corner Hotel

Good show, but not a great one, though that had a fair bit to do with the venue (couldn't see much), and the fucksticks who insisted on talking through most of the songs (except naturally the new songs which they knew). Great banter and audience involvement though. Grounds For Divorce and Station Approach my highlights. Puncture Repair, Switching Off and The Stops not great song choices venue/scene/occasion. Bones Of You also good. Got a grey tour t-shirt, yes, with dates on the back. Got a lift home with a taxi driver who was eating churros that were over fried and were therefore crunchy. We talked about churros and how they're not meant to be crunchy. I feel like having some churros right about now.

South Melbourne 12 Moorabbin 0

South now through to the quarter finals, against who I don't know, but probably on Thursday at the same location. Since I wasn't there today, let's do something else to pass the time. According to the wikipedia entry, the word Moorabbin is believed to have come from the Wurundjeri Aboriginal word for resting place. There used to be a fully fledged Moorabbin soccer club called Moorabbin City, but they sadly went broke several years ago. There also used to be a Moorabbin Football Club, whose death can directly be linked to its ground being taken over by the St Kilda Football Club. Man, when they had cake in the boardroom that day I was there, the smell was just unreal. I should have asked where they got it from, because it looked so good. Just when you think you're entertainment spending is set to take a break, Elbow announces a sideshow. There goes another $60, when I eventually purchase a ticket. At least it doesn't interfere with soccer this time.

Your eyes are just like, black spiders...

Ok, so not quite powder blue, but something a little different to look at.

South women play final game of season Sunday

... against the Bendigo Vipers at Field 13, 1:00 start I think. I'm going to try and make it down there, and not only because I don't mind a bit of the old women's football, but also because I've got this strange feeling. The feeling that, as good as open forum's are, and gutsy or foolish as Leo is being in this situation, I've got the feeling that some numpty or numpties are going to unleash a tidal wave of stupid. So being a couple of kilometres down the road seems like a good idea, in the wide open spaces, cold wind coming across the lake, picturesque pit lane behind me... anyway, the last time I had this feeling was in early 2007, before the Richmond away game, where there was a analogous level of tension for different and yet, oddly, somewhat related reasons. So therefore I won't be in a position to relate directly the events of what will transpire in that meeting. Maybe someone else will do it for me, maybe Ill just relate 2nd hand facts, but either way, I'm choosing not be there, just as a happy coincidence prevented my being at the Richmond game last year. In that case, I was at the Prince of Wales seeing Elbow for the 2nd time, and having a blast. This time Elbow are busy touring overseas - hopefully they come by next year - and therefore other arrangements need to be made. At least this time they'll be South related.

Elbow - Seldom Seen Kid

We now interrupt this program, in order to present this special address from Elbow's Australian Ambassador.


Ok, so I'm a bad little boy for having downloaded this a month before its proper release. But thankyou Soulseek people. Anyway, track by track. If you don't want to know the scores, look away now...

Starlings - one of the oddest little opening songs I've ever heard. But a very pretty song once it gets stuck in. Could've renamed this one Startling, because it has a few moments which just jump out at you.

Bones Of You - tremendous, has a measured urgency, propelling itself forward wonderfully. Also serves the purpose of picking up the pace of the record nice and early.

Mirrorball - absolutely gorgeous, I challenge anyone not to love this song. Reminds me of Asleep In The Back era b-sides, even if i can't quite figure out how.

Grounds For Divorce - a tough, bluesy, ballsy song, but with enough of the old Elbow touch to make it memorable. It's the kind of song Elbow needed to write in my honest opinion.

An Audience With the Pope - the first 'weak' song, sort of meanders around for awhile, not going anywhere in particular, but still ok.

Weather To Fly - an odd high vocal, the arrangements are a little awkward for mine, and like the previous song, seems to lack direction.

The Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver - Starts off as a nice little waltz, before changing direction midway and then getting suitably big. The percussion reminds me of the Dancer In The Dark soundtrack - which is a good thing by the way!

The Fix - A duet with I'm not sure who, the voices complement each other well. The music has a wonderfully curious/mysterious air about it.

Some Riot - Brambles. But even better. Very interesting arrangement, seriously brought tears to my eyes how well they've executed this song. A song hasn't done that to me that much since Eels' Daisies of the Galaxy record, with its trio of the title track, It's a Motherfucker and Selective Memory.

On A Day Like This - fantastic counterpoint to Some Riot, cheerful and uplifting in the most awesome way.

Friend of Ours - Elbow ease us out with a nice slow song, which gradually swells before retreating gently.

The length of these songs is interesting, it poses problems in some songs, but mostly it works well. Overall, I would say it's the more maudlin parts of Leaders, via Asleep In The Back production wise, all sorts of different sounds in the songs. I love it. I'm not going to say it's a return to form, because Leaders was a good record, but this is a better record, no doubt much more consistent across the board and I just love the sound of it, the way they mix the natural and industrial for want of a better way of putting it. How will people unfamiliar with the band see it? Hard to say. I think it could be the record more than any other of theirs which could break them well and truly.

Best three tracks, Bones of You, Some Riot, Mirrorball.