Con Harismidis gold from 2004, as dug up by Southpole

Welcome To Melbourne Rush 

We welcome all who are here. Melbounre Rush Soccer Club is for all fan we want here. Only if you are from commuhnist party or from asia or africa or you are from our homeland of Rushia then you are here. 



Statment from supreme leader of APl Jono Neal. 
' I am happy to have Rush club in my league. In our multi culture political corect time it is great to see aclub that can cobine the turk way of violence and steeling with the communist way of hatred of other people. I left rugby and i am paid many million dollar for this. if you go you can go and if you do not go then do not go for I get all the money any way. i would like to finsih by laugh in the face of the Hellas fan and the Melbourne Croatia fan and the Sydeny Olympic fan and the Carlton SC fan and the Morwell gippsland falcon fan and the brunswick juve black and white horse fan a nd even Macoroni Italliano fan and Sydeny Croatia fan and all the fan of all club who made the sport in the country." 


The Melbourne Rush Club 

Welcome and thank you to our sponsor. 
Unino of miscellanueos Union of Australia 
Worker Union of miscelaneuoas worker of australia 
The ABC and SBS and we thank there unbias report of Palestinain and Lebanon. 
Crzay Joan phone sell. 
The people who have sale at Saint Kilder Town Hall and sell there rug and carpet for 95 persent off. 
The Asutralian communist parrty. 
Iran Air. 
Dandenong city council. 
Coburg shopkeeper group. 
Lakember tourist holiday travel agent. 
Village cinema new movie release called The Mosk, starring Jim Carrey. 
The premire of victoria and the mayor of melbourne. 
TVT, Tv Turko. Host Mr Al-Rosh Al-atdula. Chanel 13 every friday. 
Every single school teacher in the state of victoria. 


To sing the anthem of Turkey and Russia and China we have Paula Abdula. She sing anthem of our country and then will sing song of our club. The song for our club is called Rush Rush by Paula Abdula. 


Rule for attending the game of Melbourne Rush club for ASA APL. 

Number A. 
People who are from this country background will not attend. These country are Anglo background, Greek heritage, all 510 diffrent former Jugoslavia country except Bosnian Kosovon, all USA people, all democartic tradition people, all Christian poeple, all people from Country that won the world cup before, all Israel people, all fan who care for the sport, all polite people with real family value, all Scandinavia people, all Italiano people except follower of Mussolini or Ferrari, no Kurd too. There is exception if you can show membership of communist party or if you have a criminal record. If you do not have your criminal record with you we can accept for identificaton your rugby league membership or your passport from Pakistan or Turkey, 

Number B. 
You have to pay the club membership. You then have to buy the per game ticket from the ticketekmaster. After you do this please line up outside ground with your credit card to reserve your seat for the game. We then ask you present cash to go past the gate. 

Number C. 
There are only two type of ticket alocate for the game. The $55dollar ticket is for the grandstand seating. The other ticket is for general admition and is reasonbly priced for you at $55dollar. 

Number D. 
In general ticket puchase there are two option to have. These are chanting or nonchanting. Singing to support the team is not allowed. All chanting must be in Arabic or Swahili. 

Number E. 
We welcome all women and female to the club. You have all privlage of the normal member but there are some thing you must do. You may buy ticket for the game but please do not come to game. You must stay at home and wear a big sheet with two hole for your eye cut out and you must make our donkey and camle meal and then finish making mud brick for our house. 

Number F. 
As is tradition of aour people. If you are from Turkey, India, Syria, China, Lebanon, Niger, Tunisia, Iran, Sudden, Chad, Pakistan, Mexico, Luxemborg, Germany, Bolivia, France Bulgaria, Russia , Austrio-Hungry, Botswana or Vietnam you can buy Family Ticket. Family Ticket is for 2 adult, 58 children and as many other relative you can get in a on family reunion scam. 

Number H. 
It is not weather the club win or lose. It is how much money Club Rush can get before the league fold. Thios money will then be sent to a numbered secret acount in Istanbul. 



The Melbourne Rush club have many supporter group so yoiu can be with your friend. 

Rush Club Tram Driver club - Welcome our poeple who drive the tram. 
Sponsored by Pakistan Air 

Rush club Train Driver Club - Welcome our train driver and the two station attender they have. 
Sponsor by Air India 
(For unspoken reason these two club will sit at opposite end of stadium) 

Rush Club Student Club - Welcome all student union student who give up there time from protesting to go to the game. 

Rush Club Palestinain Peace Group Club - Curently no member. 

Rush Club Camel owner of victoria supporter group club - The animal not the tobaco. 

Rush Club Taxi Driver club - All member here recieve a free map of the city. Soap too. 

Rush Club North Cypriot Not in Europe Club - To join this group please invade oir sneek in. 

Rush Club Pretend refugee Club - Lie about where you from and be given free lawyer. Feel free to overstay your club time too. 

Rsuh Club antiHellas club - AFl cricket rugby people. Victorian government too. Some room left for former member of board at Hellas. Nearly all medai of tv asn newsaper of here are member of this club. Peter Desri is member nu,mber 2. Member of VSF management are given lifetime embership to this group. 




Please welcome the many valued people who make Rush club what it is. 

Owner/dictator/warlord. Crazey Joan. 

Stadium Announcer. Shake Abdul-Abduala-Abdula-al-Abdula-Abdula. 

Ground maintenencer. Mustapha and his son Fatima. 

Team coach. John Kosmina. 

Assitant coach. Burnd Stanker. 

Assistant coach. World Cup coach of Saudi Arabia. 

Television announcer crew. Lesbanon Murray and Anthony Mudine. Special comment by Mark Viduka. 

Fair unbiased refere crew. Micafel Lennie and shield. 



Offical Team colour. 

Home unifrom. Green. 
Away unifrom. Green. 
Home headwear. White towl with red srting. 
Away headwear. White towl with green string. 



MatchDay activities. 

At 5:30 in morning we will announce the team lineup by loud speaker. 

From then to 3 in afternoon you may line to buy your ticket. 

3:30 the game is on. 

5:30 you must go. 

6:00 to late we will complain spit and abuse people on our way back to the house or car we live in. 


Plenty for the member and fan to do at the stadium. 
We have picture of all Australia and USA and England president or Prime mInister and we offer the fan to hit he picture with there shoe. 
A selection of muli culture food for your enjoyment. Camel Pie. Camel Dog. Camel Roll. Even some Camelakia. Plenty of meat from the eye and the groin of the animal will be in these delcacy. 
If any of you want to do crime then please do them. SBS camera crew is waiting to make you look like the victim so do the crime and do the airtime. 
Activity for children too. They can learn how to throw the rock and how to make a flamethrower from normal hairspray can. 



Many game will have special guest and special theme day. 

Week 3. AFL fan is here to teach people to get good spit at other peopel. 

Week 5. Fenerbache fan is here to explain why you celebrate if you win UEFA cup which is for the team that are not good enough to play Champion League. 

Week 6. Multi culture rugby aFL cricket day. Please order your kilo of illegal substence 3 business day before. Player from AFl cricket and rugby will try to sign there name for autograph for the fan. Player will charge $100dollar for the autograph. 

Week 8. Illegal crime fundraising day. 

Week 9. UN day. Join the United Nation with Russia and France in there Oil for food bribe. Would you like Coffee Anan. Boutros Boutros Gali will travel from Wagga Wagga and eat Kous Kous with Mustafa Mustafa. 

Week 10. Leadrer of tyhe england EPL. Will explain how to make a league where all player are from Africa or france or iceland and no player is from home country of league. 

Week 11. Midnight Oil and Celine Dion concert. Hosted by Eddie Magure. Same as week 8 really. 

Week 14. Melbourne CXroatia trator day. Welcome Zoran and Vladislav but only if they be communist. 

Week 15. Hellas trator day. Nobody expected to attend. 

Week 17. APL will be bankruped day. VSF will allow player from Club Rush to transfer to Heidelberg. 



The Melbourne Rush SC Club have many opening for job opening. 
Please now we will only hire minority people who are related to us. Other may appliy but we will laugh in there face and throw there aplication in gargabe. Please no Greek or Anglo or Italiano or Estonier or Scotland or Latvian or people who behave and have moral and manner. Exception if you are bad person and from these place thouhg. 

Ticket Seller. Minimum 4 year experince at extortiion or previous AFL job. 
Food seller. Maximum wash hand 1 time per month. Previous job at Morwell ground is good to have. 
Security. Pentrige qualificaton needed of at least 2 guilty or 1 guilty and 1 plee bargain. is good if worked similar role at Bob Jane or Sunshine. 
Cleaner. Greek , Norwagian or English language must not be used. Club Rush will provide flag of those country for you to clean floor. 

The Meblourne Rush also want qualification and experience for the aplicant. If you have worked for Nazi party, Soccer Australia, Microsoft, AFL, Milosevic or OJ Simpson or Chowchesskoo or the Labor PArty then that is good for aplicant. If you are communist from Rushia then go to front of the line. If you are police wanted person from Asia then go ahead of the communist in line. 


Moscow Moscow see the Rush club everywhere 
play soccer in our underwear 
hahahahaha 
hay 
Moscow Moscow we are Turk and we dont care 
We take your land and do not share 
hahahahaha