Drilling For Oil In Somalia and Other Wacky Adventures

... I had said that if Whitlam won the election I would cry in front of the television set. In victory one should cry because of the perils of success; one should laugh in defeat. A friend said I'd better start laughing...

- Donald Horne, Death of the Lucky Country


By now this will have been plastered on every forum causing smallspread despair and widespread jubilation.


FFA snub angers South Melbourne

Dan Silkstone, June 7, 2008

SOUTH Melbourne Soccer Club has accused Football Federation Australia of running an unfair bid process for the expansion of the A-League.

South vice-president Jim Mellas said FFA had ignored an expression of interest from the club in joining an expanded elite competition. The club's treatment was in stark contrast to the treatment that Gold Coast United received before it accepted the competition's ninth licence yesterday.

He said FFA chief executive Ben Buckley had not returned several telephone calls made by club representatives in the past fortnight.

"We wrote them a letter two weeks ago," Mellas said. "We found out accidentally they had opened up bids. I'm not sure how we were supposed to know. We have heard nothing back."

Iron ore baron Clive Palmer signed the provisional agreement on behalf of Gold Coast United. Then he declared he would be disappointed if the new club failed to win the A-League in its debut season.

Palmer arrived at Skilled Park at Robina, where Gold Coast will play its home games, by helicopter. He said his three private jets would be on call for the team, which will play in the A-League in 2009-10.

Mellas has requested a meeting to make a presentation to Buckley. "It's clear they don't want to know us," he said.

"It is the perceived ethnic background of South Melbourne and the old NSL, but it is very unfair. For the past couple of years, we have worked to broaden our base and become more professional."

Buckley said last night a letter would be sent to the club, inviting it to make a bid. "They will get an opportunity to make their presentation to us," he said.

Mellas said South Melbourne directors learned that a process was under way only when reporters rang to ask if they had placed a bid.

On Tuesday, FFA announced that 10 bids had been received, including three from Melbourne. The fourth bid, from South Melbourne, will now be considered.

With AAP



First, the La La Land version. As we should all know by now, one time South board member Jim Marinis, he who ran the football department - thanks for 2006 Jim! - has been the brains, heart, lungs and pancreas of the so called South Pirates/Southern Cross bid for the 2nd Melbourne based A-League licence. Somewhere in the back of people's minds, we always knew that South Melbourne Hellas/FC as it was could never get in as itself, for reasons of both character and money - signs of the times we live in. But it was assumed that with a professional front and a small stake of say, about 15%, that South could perhaps be part of a larger thing, semi-sold out but with its own VPL team kept separate to remind us of our roots and for use as an escape pod, Heidelberg/Collingwood Warriors style. While there was never any direct evidence of this scenario occurring - whispers and hopeful suggestions by the South Board and Internet snooping not counting in my book - still the people clung on to the belief that it could be, nay, was true.

And so we went along with the plan, the Great Idea, to borrow from history another great folly of the Greeks. Twisting and turning, rationalising how we would be missed, then how we were missed; how we would be sorely needed, then how we were sorely needed; and asking everyone and ourselves where could they find enough fans for any new broadbased Victory like franchise - they couldn't and therefore we were in. The consortium would use Lakeside as a training and administrative base. Over time we'd buy our way to full or at least majority ownership. We'd even play in the original South Melbourne Hellas shirt with the red 'V', do whatever it took. And then the thudding back to reality.

Because unless this is some massive ruse, designed to divert attention from the fact that the Southern Cross bid is a South Melbourne bid in disguise, courtesy of its association with Jim Marinis, I feel obliged to say that ladies and gentlemen, we've been had. Not by the FFA necessarily - anyone with mind half open and not drugged up on our previous glory could see that we were only being paid lipservice - but by Marinis himself. A libelous statement? Perhaps. But where is the definitive proof that we have anything to do with the Southern Cross Pirates? If that smoking gun, or camel tracks in the Iraqi desert does exist somewhere out there, it's keeping a very low profile. Trade confidentiality? Possibly. But Sidwell and De Lutis, and other bids from across this big brown land have been more forthright with everyone, saying we have x amount of dollars, or this plan, or these people and this will likely be our name etc. The Southern Cross Pirates bid by comparison, has seemingly been pushed to the sidelines, as almost an afterthought. Once touted as a likely candidate, its appearance now takes the form of outsider. And if Southern Cross Pirates is an outsider, then what is South? A footnote, and not an important footnote that will be turned into a concept album by some prog rock behemoth; rather one of those boring ones that only come up in obscure doctorate theses, read by - and I have a human footnote who can prove this - on average 5 people worldwide.

So looking back on the post-NSL supposed temporary exile journey, was it all worth it? Hard to say. There were fun times to be sure. Rocking up late to Kevin Bartlett Reserve in 2006, in the first week of the Pirates craze, and hearing the pirate-esque 'arrrrggghhs' of the Clarendon Corner crew; the Jolly Roger hanging off the fence; the coincidence of the South coterie membership name being changed from Hellas 1oo to Southern Cross; that press release. And of course the Victory game, which was like a Sweet Sixteenth, Quinceañera, Debut, Graduation and Funeral all rolled into one. But all good things must come to an end. The Greek saying goes, too much laughter ends in tears, or words to that effect. And so the wild trip comes to an end. We're stuck in the fucking VPHell, and it's about time the club, all parts of it, got used to it. Scarcely no one has missed us; scarcely anyone remembers who we truly were, including our own supposed loyal fanbase, those 6,000 or so people who disappeared into the aether. And it's been that way ever since we were 'left out'.

This post is not meant to justify the thoughts of certain Greek ultra-nationalists, who will possibly point and say haha, you sold out and look what happened. Hardly. The club never truly sold out, it just evolved, with the key factor being the move from Middle Park to Lakeside, but that's a story for another day. Neither is it to justify the prejudices, soft and hard, of A-League fans, in particular those Bordeaux Monkeys from the Phone Dome. They got what they wanted, but because they can't see the forest for the trees they then complain about the lack of tradition in the game's new era; again a story for another day. This piece is meant only as a quiet lament , looking back with semi-fondness on all that we came and saw. And that from now on it should be back to business, our true business, of winning games in a tin pot suburban league, a shadow, but nevertheless ourselves, and not anybody else, enjoying what we have, what he had, and pitying the poor fools who have what they want and still find no pleasure in it. It's a tough ask I know. But I think we can do it. After all, what else we can do?


Now in the doctor's waiting room, I read the detailed poll figures. The people had not responded. I shut my left eye and with my right looked at the page: the grey blindness had spread half across the eye. Now the figures were obscured. That was better.

- Donald Horne, Death of the Lucky Country