Saturday, 26 April 2008

South of the Border haiku edition no.4

Another one of those I had published last year, so once again, a little bleak. Also prone to hyperbole, in line with the sense of futility often prevalent in these times, and with more than a hint of desperation, reminiscent perhaps a little of Sun Tzu's reference to 'death ground'.


On death ground
We demonstrate
The desperateness
Of the situation


Strictly speaking from a haiku rules perspective, I'm unhappy about this one; it's over the top, it lacks a 'season' word, and it has a morbidity which frightens me. And yet this heaviness, the contrast between the weight upon everyone still supporting the club and the fact that this has been caused by a lessening/lightening of numbers, in some slightly perverse way works rather well. Can you believe though that I had a far more ridiculous haiku ready to go in its place? This one seems perfectly rational in comparison.


deserted and scorned
defenders of the true faith
we still battle on

No comments:

Post a Comment

A few notes on comments.

We've had a lot of fun over the years with my freewheeling comments policy, but all good things must come to an end. Therefore I will no longer be approving comments that contain personal abuse of any sort.

Still, if your post doesn't get approved straight away, it's probably because I haven't seen it yet.

As usual, publication of a comment does not mean endorsement of its content.