South Melbourne 7 South Hobart 0

Pretty average performance overall. South Hobart strated off ok, fighting well, but fell away more and more as the game went on. Kati wildscenes at the scoreboard end, plenty of chants and stupidity. We're going to miss you Southpole you kreas!

Hot rumour! South set to make major player announcement!

Stop whingeing about being hot for a second and listen up. This has just come through on the wire. A source known only as 'deepthroat' has told South of the Border that South Melbourne Hellas is expected to make a major player announcement by this weekend. While I can't reveal my source(s), I assure you they are very reliable, so hold on to your hats people, something big might be about to happen.

South Melbourne vs South Hobart on Saturday

Dont' forget that South will be having a friendly match against Tasmanian champs South Hobart this Saturday at Lakeside, 4pm. Hopefully the weather cools down enough so they can actually play the game, and hopefully the South Hobart lads aren't too exhausted by playing the night before against Oakleigh 'Nikos Quality Cakes is a valued sponsor' Cannons.

I did it before I was hot and bored

Yes I know I did it a few days ago. Anyway, started to feel as if the powderblue look was confusing, cluttered and just plain old shithouse. I reckon this one will last a fair while. I've also dispensed with the use of a logo, unless someone makes me an absolutely awesome one. Thanks to Cliff and Cuddles for giving me logos to use over the past whatever period of time. I'm sticking with moderately witty subtitles for the forseeable future. If someone out there has a moderately witty subtitle they'd like to see on the header, let me know and I'll consider it.

Tuesday night Hellenic Cup result

A 6-0 win over amatuers Braeside Lemnos. 

It's possible he'd had a drop or two of something

So boardmember George Triantos was on 3xy last night, from an undisclosed location - which I don't know the whereabouts of because I wasn't invited - having a bit of a natter about certain things, most particularly how well pleased he was with how South in the Suburbs went. Apparently we even got more sponsors on the day because of it. Any lingering doubts that I may have had about the worthwhility of the operation seem to have disappeared then. Because while it always looked good to have the blue and white on display with pride, it kinda, possibly, almost defeated the purpose if only regular South members signed up, because they were probably going to do that anyway. But if reports be true, there were some people who had renewed their fealty after some years away, but the sponsorship thing impresses me most. Great work by the team.

South in the Suburbs quite good; South Melbourne wins game, also good

Ok, so I didn't have to work today, so I was able to go and spend all my money buying memberships and shit in Oakleigh. I got me my usual South Gold membership (with voting rights and and keyrings and shit), and I also paid for a jersey and for my spot at the jersey presentation night. Wow. I'm awesome. That was $345 dollars straight to the South kitty; it could've ended up in a worse place to be honest.

On my shirt I've asked if we can get numbers, and they said they'll get back to me on that. It's all a bit of a blur now, but for some reason if it were to happen I'd be getting Shane Nunes' number 2. I didn't ask about names, but if they were available as well, one would have to go the whole hog. Either that or break Shane's heart, but do the right and pay due homage to the great James Spanos. Anyway, quite a few South peeps turned out for the occasion, and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Below: Everyone else will be posting photos of the entire team in a nice shot and smiling and shit. I'm going to be different and give you a photo of them getting ready for that shot.



So it was then on Kingston Heath, where the search for Spanos continued in vain. The consoloation prize was seeing a pretty decent South line up clean up Panserraikos (formerly South Springvale Serres, who we played last year), but seriously, the souvlaki was pretty ordinary, dry as fuck turkish bread, no cacique, and they didn't even put salt on the cucumbers in the salad. For fuck's sake.

Below: Fernando and friends celebrate scoring a penalty against their fearsome opposition.

I'm sorry I don't have a picture of the quite nice 'Large Yoyo' I had from Nikos Quality Cakes, nor of the Nestle peach flavoured iced tea. Good luck to Jim and Raf on their wedding tomorrow.

2009 Memberships out, yay!

Just go buy one already farken! You can even do it online!

Stiven Mrkela signed up!

As revealed to me by the late William Mark Felt, Snr, in a major coup for the club, they've completed the signing of Stiven Mrkela, the former Altona Magic skipper and highly experienced player at this level. Kudos to the club!

Hellenic Cup 2009

Bloody hell, we're in the south east section again, and this time out even further away from my part of civilisation, Bentleigh Greens. This sucks balls because I can't drive nor catch public transport out to Kingston Heath, and therefore no only will I not be able to see the team and catch up with people, I won't be able to give you any half-arsed eyewitness reports. Anyway, the women's and youth teams are also in it once more, with the former playing at Northcote City. Is it worth trudging up all the way just for that? I dunno, we'll see I guess. Here are the fixtures for the men and women.

Men's draw (at Bentleigh Greens)

Saturday January 24th 5:00pm vs Panserraikos
Tuesday January 27th 7:45pm vs Braeside Lemnos
Tuesday February 3rd 7:45pm vs Kingston City
Sunday February 8th 5:00pm vs Moorabbin

Women's draw (at Northcote City)

Saturday 7th February 12:30pm vs Springvale City
Tuesday 10th February 6:15pm vs Brunswick City
Saturday 14th February 12:30pm vs Heidelberg

I care dammit

Our friend Conya trundled over to watch this game on behalf of everyone who cares. Good stuff. Below is his report, edited for clarity of some player names.

3 - 0 for those who care. 

Ground is a dust bowl and rock hard. 

Zoric scored the first and i'm not sure on the others. 

Good to see Rama, O'Dor and Caldwell get some game time. 

Number 18 looked good (Danny) and Joseph Yousseff did a good job in the middle.

South in a Suburb called Oakleigh

You may, or may not have heard about this, but apparently South is going to wage guerrilla warfare of sorts by entering Chokeleigh territory and setting up a stall in front of a cake shop sponsor of this club and selling memberships and such. You can download the flyer for it here. Anyway, while it's nice that memberships are finally available, the whole operation does raise interesting questions about the club's status. Are we a club for the Greeks of the city? Are we a club for the South Melbourne area?

Here are some guesses of what could go down this Saturday.

1. People will be laughed at.
2. There might be some cussing.
3. Still current South supporters will buy memberships, giving the illusion that people are still interested.
4. There will be no memberships to buy, or at best, a table and a price list.
5. People will be so blown away they'll buy a membership for the first time ever or in years, and recommend the club to their friends and family.
   
6. People will stop and stare and seem confused? South Melbourne? What's that?
7. People will buy cake.
8. South of the Border will not be there, because they will be too busy working in order to earn money to pay for their membership and extravagant 50th anniversary related purchases.
9. It might actually go spectacularly well, with interest regenerated in the club.
10. No one will bring South of the Border back any cake after it's all done.

I don't want it to sound like sour grapes of bitterness, but we should give the club some credit. They're trying to reach as many relevant people (what the marketing types call 'receptive audiences'), and it's not like they're forgetting the local area they now represent - indeed the usual family day will be on next month - but because of what has happened to the club and the way people jumped off so quickly, you fret and worry about what having to almost beg for supporters means. Or maybe it's the kind of humility that was too long absent from the club, and it's better late than never to ask people to come and support this great club, rather than expect them to.

And just in case anyone asks, this is not because they're not doing it on Altona North that it may appear I'm being a little (maybe a lot for some people) down on the idea. That kind of thinking applies mostly to trains and why eastern suburbs people get new ones first while we still had to ride the old Hitachis with their spacious legroom, windows you could open, and oldskool rattle and shake. As you were.

Hume City vs South

If you can be arsed heading out all the way to Broadmeadows for midweek pre-season friendly football action, then here's an opportunity to do it twice in two days. I'm going to give both a miss, but only because it's like, in Broadmeadows/Meadow Park/Coolaroo, and that's too far for a sexy single girl to be travelling via public transport unaccompanied, and at night.

Seniors

Wednesday 21st Jan - Hume City vs South Melbourne, Valley Park, 6:30

Under 21s

Thursday 22nd Jan - Hume City vs South Melbourne, Valley Park 7pm

By the way, to get to Valley Park, please  heed these directions, as with pretty much all of this entry's information, ripped off soccer-forum. And if you're wondering who the fuck Hume City are, that's the new name that (North) Coburg United have given themselves.

Braodmeadows Valley Park / Crazy John’s Memorial Park:
Near the Corner of Intersections Pascoe Vale Road & Barry Road (Could be listed either as Coolaroo or Meadow Heights). Enter via Barry Road. 
(Melway Reference: Map 6 G3)

50th anniversary jersey, combines old and new into stunning design.

In a South of the Border exclusive, we can reveal to you dear readers a prototype of the jersey we'll be wearing in this, our 50th anniversary year. The crack design team from Cartoon Stock, who were commisioned for the project, issued the following explanation of some the design's elements.

"Owing to the mass amnesia of the involvement of South Melbourne United in the creation of South Melbourne Hellas, it was a no brainer to not even consider using the original red 'v' design. The thing to do then was to use the traditional blue motif, but instil some new and old meanings into the design; we wanted it to tell a story. So while maintaining blue as the pricniple colour, we've gone with a more faded blue, in homage to the Jim Marinis-not-washing-the-shirts-as- punishment-for-playing-like-shit-and-with-no-heart in 2007 era. We've also gone for a very, well what we thought was a cutting edge move, in putting a whole potato, to symbolise, well, the literal potato on the shoulder of the club. It also quietly pays due respect to South's place in Australia, the land from the which potato came, specifically the old Middle Park and its immediate surrounds, and the club's role in cultivating the crop which has been crucial in alleviating world hunger."

Cartoon Stock's fee for the design has been the subject of much speculation, with rumours even circulating that they have received monies from South Melbourne's 2012 World Club Championship money, which the club will receoive once they receive entry into the A-League and win the title at it's first attempt.

South of the Border congratulates under 21s team

Before I get to them, the seniors also had a hit out against Northcote, drawing 1-1. Some senior players played, Nick Curtis was in and did ok, James Spanos was absent for some reason, we missed a penalty, generally looked half-baked, but I'll let it slide through to the keeper this time, since it is their first game of the year.

Now to the under 21s. Why am I sending my congratulations to them when they haven't even kicked a ball in anger? Because they have already surpassed their finishing position of last year, which was 13th, which itself was an improvement on their 2007 placing of 15th. Nevermind that each season has seen less teams in the competition, or that the side is playing like shit and barely one player looks likely to break into the senior squad. Why care about style, competency, even results when we have a keeper who tries to dribble around players only to lose the ball, then kick the post hard in disgust after he cops a goal; maybe if he'd used that remarkable leg strength on the ball he wouldn't have the need to kick the woodwork. Maybe if the players could hit short passes, maybe even the occasional decent cross. Ah forget it. If I get to games early this year, I'll be in the social club, avoiding the bloodbath.

Coveny retires from top-flight football

From FourFourTwo Magazine, thanks to Simon for alerting us to its release.

Coveny said the highlights of his career were his 300 games for South Melbourne, including going to the World Club Championships, and his 64 games for his country, for which he is also the highest scorer with 28 goals.

Oprah's Favourite Things

This is what I love about smfcboard. If you bring up in the boredom of the off-season a still topical thread, ostensibly to clean up your incorrect Dr Katz reference from three years ago, you get a yellow card. Ok, so maybe it was like the 5th or 6th time that I'd done that, but here's what gets up my goat. I'll happily take the yellow card. It's not like there are that many actual rules on the forum, but common sense dictates that you probably shouldn't push your luck to much, no matter how awesome you are.

But of course, this being the parallel universe of smfcboard, common sense doesn't quite obey the same laws of forum warning physics as other more 'politically correct' places do. So if you feel like proclaiming that Hitler was correct in wanting to turn the Jews into soap, go for your life. You'll get nothing. Even better, follow it up with a comment about how the A-League is racist for not letting you in, red carpet, 20 point headstart and all the trimmings.

Even more disappointing was that in the relevant yellow card worthy thread, everyone missed my other Dr Katz reference.

Friendly on Saturday - South vs Northcote at Lakeside

Information shamelessly ripped from Zidan's Magic on soccer-forum, who seems to know a hell of s lot more than we do for some reason.


Interesting practise game between these two clubs, will be Pouta's first game against his former teammates and club.

Reserves k.o. @ 4pm
Seniors k.o. @ 6pm

Venue: Bob Jane Stadium on Saturday the 17th of January

Not that I was aiming for one, but it's about freaken time!

On September 14th, 2005, I joined smfcboard. I was a nobody then; no job, no school, no friends, no life. Thanks to that forum, and because of my getting re-connected to South, whom I'd lost touch with since the end of the NSL, I was able to put myself back together again; I made heaps of friends, or least acquaintances; got involved with the club; got back to school; in essence got my life back after years of self pity and stagnation.

But something was missing. Sure I got myself a reputation amongst some forumites was waffling on and getting on my high horse far too often, and amongst others for clarity, objectivity and cutting through the krap. But today, the missing piece was finally filled in. And all it took was the resuscitation of a three year old thread about mainstreaming the club, and a prompt from a fellow fan to correct a mistake I had made in reference a Dr Katz episode, to finally get me that yellow sticker above my avatar, which signified that I am just a little bit badass after all.

Hello, a secret history

You account on smfcboard.com has received a warning.
You have now a total of 1 warnings, if you somehow receive more than 5 your account will be blocked.

The reasons for this are numerous, this warning is received because of this post:
http://www.smfcboard.com//viewtopic.php?p=437944#437944
that you made.

Here are a reminder of some of the terms you accepted when you registered, we kindly ask you to respect them in the future

Quote:
"You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening, sexually-orientated or any other material that may violate any applicable laws. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned"

If you don't see why you've received this warning you could try contact thrylos7, who gave the warning, explaining your post,
and that you don't understand why this warning is given.


--
Thanks, The Management


But maybe it wasn't the unnecessary dredging up of the thread for mine and Southpole's amusement that finally made moderator Thigh Rolls crack. After all, we'd been doing it to amuse ourselves all summer, and while Southpole got banned outright for it, that wasn't such an irregular occurrence. No, maybe what did it was the bringing up of that particular topic, containing replies, opinions and persons which are unfashionable now but were safer to admit to liking and agreeing with back then. When the fury was stronger and more evident, and there was still a misguided ambition of a kind to revive what had, in it's own way, failed.

Those who argued against mainstreaming most fervently, because of their nationalist bent which would come to fruition in the Hellas Fan Club and its various adventures, are largely long gone. The argument itself about mainstreaming is mostly dead... certain agitators persist with trying to reverse the trends of time and assimilation, but those things will don't care about feelings, as in the riddle in The Hobbit;


This thing all things devours;
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers,
Moulds iron, bites steel,
Grinds hard stones to mill,
Slays king, destroys town,
And beats the highest mountain down.


And yet the argument, or perhaps more accurately one of the things that fueled it, is still unresolved. What should South do now? The knee jerk reaction has always been to go back, or hold on to what the club has now; which while holding the club back from whatever possibilitites may exist in trying something new, is preferable because it is familiar, and at the same time reassuring because it allows people to believe that they are being loyal to the cause. The point here being that not that change or no change are good or bad within themselves; but the attittudes attached to taking either of those stances, and what they say about loyalties and views of the club are important. While we like to think that we're all one happy family, each of us has had a differenct experience of the club, which in turn gives us a dufferent idea of South, and different ideas of where we want it to go; forward, back, upwards, sideways, nowhere.

Anyway, the thread that was dredged was not utterly useless; it contained one of the most clear and concise arguments on the matter, from someone deeply involved with the club, who could see its potential, but like most of us, unable to do much about it, because the receptive and half receptive audiences, as small as they were in comparison to these days of plenty for soccer, are gone for us. We had our great chance, and we didn't take it. Now we scrape and struggle for piecemeal gain. Such is life.


By Kartsi

To be Greek or not be Greek, that has been the question for as long as I can remember. It has sparked as much debate as any other issue over the last 10 years or so and at times, I have been dragged into it.

One thing people seem to forget is that the club will always be known as a club of Greek migrant origins. No matter what you do in the future, you can never take away the clubs history and the core of the support base will inevitably come from the Greek-Australian community. So what do many feel so sensitive about it?

What I see as mainstreaming, is about marketing the club as a football club, with passionate supporters, with great history that plays attractive football and makes people of all races feel welcome. This feeling that somehow the club will lose its traditions, history and identity by doing as such, is nothing short of nonsense. And I honestly feel this strange insecurity has held the club back for years and is continuing to do as such.

Let’s build on what we have and build in all directions. Do you honestly think going back to the days of the past will keep the club afloat and take the club forward? Dare I say it, people’s perceptions of the ‘good old days’ are nothing short of perceptions. I can remember many a days at Middle Park where there were a handful of people at the games, but people only seem to remember the 1 or 2 big gates we had against teams like Heidelberg or Olympic. If you look at the stats, I’m sure you’ll find our best period of crowd attendances have been at BJS, during periods of marketing (limited as they have been). Our Greek community has let the club down over the years, if the 300,000 Greeks in Melbourne haven’t got behind the club in the last 46 years, why will they suddenly do as such by somehow making the club more Greek. In any case, how do you make the club ‘more Greek’?

Note: more Greeks are probably members of Carlton, Richmond or Collingwood than they are of South!

The club must look to the future and most will agree there really is no long term future in the VPL, quite frankly the thought of spending the next 50 odd years following SMFC in the VPL makes me feel sick. Every club’s ambition is to play at the highest level and winning National Championships. Plain and simple SMFC is a football club 1st and foremost. If it is a Greek social club, then I have been grossly mistaken for the last 26 years.

Do you honestly think investors will get behind a club that markets itself to 5-10 % of Melbourne’s population? Do you think the FFA will look at us twice if we are not being proactive in marketing the club to the wider community whilst we are in the VPL? What strange thoughts do people have that suddenly we’ll change our spots if the FFA come calling? We need the A-League more than the A-League needs us and we should be doing everything to get in!

At the end of the day, what better way to preserve the clubs traditions, than to be playing at the highest level in front of the masses. I’ll use the usual line about the Boston Celtics, A massive club for all Bostonians with Irish background.

Keep the existing fans, keep the souvlakia, keep the passion and history. But build on it, as our great club deserves nothing less.


Of course, one of the usual subjects couldn't be bothered reading it. So mods, go ahead and hand out your yellow cards; they can only stifle your guilt for so long; the ghost of South Melbourne Hellas past lingers on. The damage has been done; only thing to do now is get your shovel out so we can try and dig our way out of this mess. Happy 50th anniversary everyone.

James Spanos found alive! At least, 'a' James Spanos, if not the real one.

Within hours of the call being made in the hopes of locating the mysterious and reclusive South Melbourne legend James Spanos, an anonymnous tipoff to South of the Border came up with a facebook photo of this particular individual, named James Spanos. As we here in the office don't know what James Spanos superstar is supposed to actually look like, we're just going to roll with this one until something better comes along.

What's a James Spanos?

There is allegedly a superstar mystery South player out there with the name James Spanos. Not a reserve, not a triallist, not some schmo from the under 21s, but a senior player. If you know the whereabouts of this man, who I have no idea who the fuck he is despite my stats work, please contact South of the Border or your local police station as soon as possible. Thank you.

Triallist hitout review

A lovely day; players stroll back to the middle after South score.

The under 21s won 1-0 witb one of the dodgiest goals you're likely to ever see. A near post corner, mucked up by three Magic defenders and eventually slammed in. The 'senior' triallist came back from 2-0 down to finish 2-2. Francesco Stella and Sebastian Petrovich were the only ones who stood out, but it's not like I was paying that much attention.

South vs South! Family Day! Jersey Night! Event Overload!

Did you get the latest edition of the club's brandspanking new newsletter? If you didn't you probably should sign up for it via the wesbsite. It kicks arse, so hopefully it's something that can be kept up throughout the entire season. Now there's stuff in there about the Family Day, the Jersey Presentation Night, and an interesting friendly game against Tasmanian champion South Hobart. Now since I wrote the bloody part about that game, I feel it's kinda my right to just dump that bit here for youir edification.

South Melbourne FC is pleased to announce that as part of its preparations for the 2009 VPL season, and its 50th anniversary, the club will be hosting a friendly match against 2008 Tasmanian champions South Hobart on Saturday January 31st.

Founded in 1910, making them the Apple Isle's oldest club, South Hobart swept all before them in 2008, winning the Premier League as well the State, Steve Hudson and Launceston City Cups. Coached by the experienced Ken Morton, South Hobart also contributed 8 players to the Tasmanian squad in the A-League Youth competition.

Rock and/or Roll

Amidst much of the speculation for the coming season - our 50th anniversary don't you know - not much attention has been paid to who the possible candidates might be for the coveted - perhaps - major sponsor position on the commerative jersey. At last year's AGM, the question was asked if last year's sponsor Miroamer would be stumping up again; the answer was cautiously hopeful, but equally non-committal.

A random visit however The Age website showed that the company's internet car radio techonology is finally close to making its debut on the market. You can read about their technology, including quotes and stuff from South board member and Miroamer CEO George Parthimos in here. Who knows, maybe one day you could be driving to work and listening to the game all the way from Greece; or maybe some enterprising type could set up streaming broadcasts of VPL games to listen to when you're out on the road, maybe late for the game?

Con Harismidis gold from 2004, as dug up by Southpole

Welcome To Melbourne Rush 

We welcome all who are here. Melbounre Rush Soccer Club is for all fan we want here. Only if you are from commuhnist party or from asia or africa or you are from our homeland of Rushia then you are here. 



Statment from supreme leader of APl Jono Neal. 
' I am happy to have Rush club in my league. In our multi culture political corect time it is great to see aclub that can cobine the turk way of violence and steeling with the communist way of hatred of other people. I left rugby and i am paid many million dollar for this. if you go you can go and if you do not go then do not go for I get all the money any way. i would like to finsih by laugh in the face of the Hellas fan and the Melbourne Croatia fan and the Sydeny Olympic fan and the Carlton SC fan and the Morwell gippsland falcon fan and the brunswick juve black and white horse fan a nd even Macoroni Italliano fan and Sydeny Croatia fan and all the fan of all club who made the sport in the country." 


The Melbourne Rush Club 

Welcome and thank you to our sponsor. 
Unino of miscellanueos Union of Australia 
Worker Union of miscelaneuoas worker of australia 
The ABC and SBS and we thank there unbias report of Palestinain and Lebanon. 
Crzay Joan phone sell. 
The people who have sale at Saint Kilder Town Hall and sell there rug and carpet for 95 persent off. 
The Asutralian communist parrty. 
Iran Air. 
Dandenong city council. 
Coburg shopkeeper group. 
Lakember tourist holiday travel agent. 
Village cinema new movie release called The Mosk, starring Jim Carrey. 
The premire of victoria and the mayor of melbourne. 
TVT, Tv Turko. Host Mr Al-Rosh Al-atdula. Chanel 13 every friday. 
Every single school teacher in the state of victoria. 


To sing the anthem of Turkey and Russia and China we have Paula Abdula. She sing anthem of our country and then will sing song of our club. The song for our club is called Rush Rush by Paula Abdula. 


Rule for attending the game of Melbourne Rush club for ASA APL. 

Number A. 
People who are from this country background will not attend. These country are Anglo background, Greek heritage, all 510 diffrent former Jugoslavia country except Bosnian Kosovon, all USA people, all democartic tradition people, all Christian poeple, all people from Country that won the world cup before, all Israel people, all fan who care for the sport, all polite people with real family value, all Scandinavia people, all Italiano people except follower of Mussolini or Ferrari, no Kurd too. There is exception if you can show membership of communist party or if you have a criminal record. If you do not have your criminal record with you we can accept for identificaton your rugby league membership or your passport from Pakistan or Turkey, 

Number B. 
You have to pay the club membership. You then have to buy the per game ticket from the ticketekmaster. After you do this please line up outside ground with your credit card to reserve your seat for the game. We then ask you present cash to go past the gate. 

Number C. 
There are only two type of ticket alocate for the game. The $55dollar ticket is for the grandstand seating. The other ticket is for general admition and is reasonbly priced for you at $55dollar. 

Number D. 
In general ticket puchase there are two option to have. These are chanting or nonchanting. Singing to support the team is not allowed. All chanting must be in Arabic or Swahili. 

Number E. 
We welcome all women and female to the club. You have all privlage of the normal member but there are some thing you must do. You may buy ticket for the game but please do not come to game. You must stay at home and wear a big sheet with two hole for your eye cut out and you must make our donkey and camle meal and then finish making mud brick for our house. 

Number F. 
As is tradition of aour people. If you are from Turkey, India, Syria, China, Lebanon, Niger, Tunisia, Iran, Sudden, Chad, Pakistan, Mexico, Luxemborg, Germany, Bolivia, France Bulgaria, Russia , Austrio-Hungry, Botswana or Vietnam you can buy Family Ticket. Family Ticket is for 2 adult, 58 children and as many other relative you can get in a on family reunion scam. 

Number H. 
It is not weather the club win or lose. It is how much money Club Rush can get before the league fold. Thios money will then be sent to a numbered secret acount in Istanbul. 



The Melbourne Rush club have many supporter group so yoiu can be with your friend. 

Rush Club Tram Driver club - Welcome our poeple who drive the tram. 
Sponsored by Pakistan Air 

Rush club Train Driver Club - Welcome our train driver and the two station attender they have. 
Sponsor by Air India 
(For unspoken reason these two club will sit at opposite end of stadium) 

Rush Club Student Club - Welcome all student union student who give up there time from protesting to go to the game. 

Rush Club Palestinain Peace Group Club - Curently no member. 

Rush Club Camel owner of victoria supporter group club - The animal not the tobaco. 

Rush Club Taxi Driver club - All member here recieve a free map of the city. Soap too. 

Rush Club North Cypriot Not in Europe Club - To join this group please invade oir sneek in. 

Rush Club Pretend refugee Club - Lie about where you from and be given free lawyer. Feel free to overstay your club time too. 

Rsuh Club antiHellas club - AFl cricket rugby people. Victorian government too. Some room left for former member of board at Hellas. Nearly all medai of tv asn newsaper of here are member of this club. Peter Desri is member nu,mber 2. Member of VSF management are given lifetime embership to this group. 




Please welcome the many valued people who make Rush club what it is. 

Owner/dictator/warlord. Crazey Joan. 

Stadium Announcer. Shake Abdul-Abduala-Abdula-al-Abdula-Abdula. 

Ground maintenencer. Mustapha and his son Fatima. 

Team coach. John Kosmina. 

Assitant coach. Burnd Stanker. 

Assistant coach. World Cup coach of Saudi Arabia. 

Television announcer crew. Lesbanon Murray and Anthony Mudine. Special comment by Mark Viduka. 

Fair unbiased refere crew. Micafel Lennie and shield. 



Offical Team colour. 

Home unifrom. Green. 
Away unifrom. Green. 
Home headwear. White towl with red srting. 
Away headwear. White towl with green string. 



MatchDay activities. 

At 5:30 in morning we will announce the team lineup by loud speaker. 

From then to 3 in afternoon you may line to buy your ticket. 

3:30 the game is on. 

5:30 you must go. 

6:00 to late we will complain spit and abuse people on our way back to the house or car we live in. 


Plenty for the member and fan to do at the stadium. 
We have picture of all Australia and USA and England president or Prime mInister and we offer the fan to hit he picture with there shoe. 
A selection of muli culture food for your enjoyment. Camel Pie. Camel Dog. Camel Roll. Even some Camelakia. Plenty of meat from the eye and the groin of the animal will be in these delcacy. 
If any of you want to do crime then please do them. SBS camera crew is waiting to make you look like the victim so do the crime and do the airtime. 
Activity for children too. They can learn how to throw the rock and how to make a flamethrower from normal hairspray can. 



Many game will have special guest and special theme day. 

Week 3. AFL fan is here to teach people to get good spit at other peopel. 

Week 5. Fenerbache fan is here to explain why you celebrate if you win UEFA cup which is for the team that are not good enough to play Champion League. 

Week 6. Multi culture rugby aFL cricket day. Please order your kilo of illegal substence 3 business day before. Player from AFl cricket and rugby will try to sign there name for autograph for the fan. Player will charge $100dollar for the autograph. 

Week 8. Illegal crime fundraising day. 

Week 9. UN day. Join the United Nation with Russia and France in there Oil for food bribe. Would you like Coffee Anan. Boutros Boutros Gali will travel from Wagga Wagga and eat Kous Kous with Mustafa Mustafa. 

Week 10. Leadrer of tyhe england EPL. Will explain how to make a league where all player are from Africa or france or iceland and no player is from home country of league. 

Week 11. Midnight Oil and Celine Dion concert. Hosted by Eddie Magure. Same as week 8 really. 

Week 14. Melbourne CXroatia trator day. Welcome Zoran and Vladislav but only if they be communist. 

Week 15. Hellas trator day. Nobody expected to attend. 

Week 17. APL will be bankruped day. VSF will allow player from Club Rush to transfer to Heidelberg. 



The Melbourne Rush SC Club have many opening for job opening. 
Please now we will only hire minority people who are related to us. Other may appliy but we will laugh in there face and throw there aplication in gargabe. Please no Greek or Anglo or Italiano or Estonier or Scotland or Latvian or people who behave and have moral and manner. Exception if you are bad person and from these place thouhg. 

Ticket Seller. Minimum 4 year experince at extortiion or previous AFL job. 
Food seller. Maximum wash hand 1 time per month. Previous job at Morwell ground is good to have. 
Security. Pentrige qualificaton needed of at least 2 guilty or 1 guilty and 1 plee bargain. is good if worked similar role at Bob Jane or Sunshine. 
Cleaner. Greek , Norwagian or English language must not be used. Club Rush will provide flag of those country for you to clean floor. 

The Meblourne Rush also want qualification and experience for the aplicant. If you have worked for Nazi party, Soccer Australia, Microsoft, AFL, Milosevic or OJ Simpson or Chowchesskoo or the Labor PArty then that is good for aplicant. If you are communist from Rushia then go to front of the line. If you are police wanted person from Asia then go ahead of the communist in line. 


Moscow Moscow see the Rush club everywhere 
play soccer in our underwear 
hahahahaha 
hay 
Moscow Moscow we are Turk and we dont care 
We take your land and do not share 
hahahahaha

When you're at Lakeside in 2009...

Don't forget to follow these simple rules, or else you could find yourself unable to ever watch Ericsson Cup fixtures in future, and who knows, you just might end up being forced to watch the VPL. Crikey, half the rules are mostly related to flares. Hail Satan we have the A-League.